Observing with Higher Acceptance!

There are times when everything seems fine, yet I find myself worrying about so many things. Now, I have a genuine problem I should be worrying about, but I find myself not having a single worry. Then, I start to worry about not worrying. It’s kind of funny.

Last night, in an online course, I learned about Galileo. I was familiar with his name and thought I had learned about him before, but I couldn’t remember the details. I may have known about his discoveries, but I didn’t know he was put under house arrest by the Catholic Church until he died. He spoke against their beliefs based on his scientific discoveries and philosophies. Others before him made similar discoveries but either didn’t speak out or died early, thus avoiding his fate.

I am reminded of a few people I know who were treated unfairly throughout history. This unfairness didn’t just come from high authorities but also from communities and families. When I was young, I couldn’t see the bigger picture and believed everything I read in books. My perspective began to change when I worked with sex workers for HIV prevention and saw the reality of human nature through their stories.

Now, I believe I can better perceive hidden agendas and survival tactics. I try to keep my observations as "observational studies" and avoid intervening. One thing I’ve learned is that I don’t know the whole picture. There were times I thought someone was treated or gossiped about unfairly, only to find out years later that they deserved it. This awareness of my own ignorance makes me more cautious.

As a writer, I want to express a lot of emotions, but as a researcher, I strive to keep my emotions at a distance. Sometimes, I don’t even understand myself, so I can’t assume I understand other people’s lives, sufferings, and survival. 

These days, I feel much happier than when I was younger. This isn’t because my life is better; it’s because my acceptance level is higher, and my emotional resilience is stronger. I read the book "Happiness Curve" years ago, which suggests that happiness increases after the age of 50, and this insight has stayed with me. I’ve been trying to "accept things as they are and learn to let go" for many years, and although I’m not there yet, I know I’m getting better with time.

I have fewer illusions about life now and fewer unrealistic expectations. These are a few thoughts on my mind this morning.

image generated with AI