Daily Small Choices!

I want to close this blog for about six months for certain reasons. However, whenever I close it, I feel like I no longer have a life. Therefore, I am taking a few risks and reopening it, and writing again.

I am fully aware that my life is not that significant to share with others, but it is somehow significant to me. Writing here makes me feel connected to the outside world, even though it might be a false sense of connectedness.

Recently, I felt that my friendship with someone is over. As I reflect, I realize it’s not the most recent incidents, but the seemingly minor things that have bothered me for a very long time. I know I tend to put up with people until I can no longer tolerate them, and one day, they lose my heart completely, and nothing can change that. It’s a little scary part of me, and I am still learning to work on it.

Lately, I’ve been learning a bit about makeup, and I discovered it’s a completely new area of knowledge for me—and I didn’t enjoy it. According to a video I watched, even basic day-to-day makeup involves around 12 products, and I don’t think I have the time or patience for that.

I had a classmate who wore full makeup every day because her mother taught her and her sister never to go out without it. I also had a friend who always criticized women who didn’t wear any makeup. Even though I tried, most of my makeup ended up expiring after very little use, so I stopped buying it.

This time, I went out to buy a foundation because I hadn’t had one for a long time, and I realized I needed it for photographs and special events. I also bought a concealer out of curiosity but quickly realized I didn’t know how to use it. That led me to look for more information and explore all these makeup-related things.

Makeup is an art, and I understand that we wouldn’t want to watch actresses or models without makeup. It can make a plain girl look attractive, and even transform a boy's face to look like a beautiful girl. The problem is sustainability. I can make the effort once or twice a year (or month), but not daily. I’m not in the entertainment industry, and no one really cares much about how I look anyway, so I’ve decided not to go through the trouble.

I also believe that not wearing makeup regularly helps my skin look younger, and I don’t want to ruin that. In the public eye, even young actresses and vocalists these days feel the need to wear concealers or use things like Botox, and it’s a sad reality. We humans will get old, develop wrinkles on our skin, and have fat in unwanted areas of our bodies. We can accept that in ourselves and the people we love, but we struggle to accept it in those we idealize for their beauty. We tend to see them differently and believe it’s their responsibility to be perfectly beautiful all the time.

These are just some of my thoughts this early morning.

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