Emotional Safeguard!

Yesterday, I was craving two things I rarely eat or drink. One was coconut water, something I like and is very much available everywhere here, but I need to avoid it because of my hypertension. I bought a bottled one—not fresh—a very small bottle, and drank that. Then, I decided to buy a ready-made toast with cheese and spinach. I rarely eat cheese or bread as they are not usually part of my meals. I’m more of a rice and noodles person.

Today, I woke up with a headache and found my blood pressure was a little high. I regret my choice of food and drink from yesterday, and I promised myself I won't eat or drink them again.

My mind is preoccupied with the "why" behind my most recent detachment from someone. It doesn’t happen often, but it has happened before, and it's still a part of me I need to understand. These are specific people I was once very attached to or trusted deeply—so what made me completely detach from them? When I reach that point, I no longer want to say anything, argue, explain, or worry. I just want nothing to do with them, and I realize I feel nothing toward them anymore.

Maybe I have a safeguard in my heart. If someone crosses a certain threshold, it seems like there’s no turning back. I looked up information and found that past experiences, like psychological trauma, can also create this kind of safeguard in a person. I am thoroughly confused, but I’ve found my mind is truly at peace. Maybe that's something good for me, and I need to accept and embrace it. It’s not within my control, so I just need to let go of it.

Image generated with AI